“The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized within the lifetime of the opportunity.” - Leonard Ravenhill

Vulnerability is Opportunity’s Wingman

I came across this CNBC headline recently: “Almost half of older millennials wish they’d chosen a different career path—what they’d do differently.” It’s from 2021 but my guess is it’s still relevant two years later. Millennials, born between 1981 and 1996, began to turn 40 in 2021. Clearly, based on surveys, a significant portion of them weren’t satisfied with what they’d chosen to do with their lives.

The point of this blog is to suggest that 1) It’s never too late to do something different with your life; and 2) It takes vulnerability to be willing to venture forth into the unknown, to do something that’s not “part of the plan” or outside of the established convention.

Frequently when we talk about vulnerability, we focus on finding behaviors that will prevent a specific consequence, such as pain or harm, from happening. Rarely do we look at being vulnerable as a path to greater opportunity, but it can be. And I would argue that it is perhaps one of the key ingredients that will open unexpected doors, especially for aspiring leaders.

There are many stories about doors not opened, paths not taken. Throughout the centuries, humans have been fascinated by the question of What if? What if I had chosen differently? I sometimes wonder about the same thing, as we all do. Regret is all about the inability to give up the idea that life might have turned out another way. This can be a source of much anxiety. It puts a lot of pressure on the act of choosing. And this state of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty means that a person who must make a major life choice is going to be at a vulnerable crossroads.

The fact is, throughout your life, there will be these major decision points—opportunities that will either be taken or not. Most successful leaders can readily tell you about such singular moments that made a difference in their careers. Often these stories have a common thread. Despite unease, uncertainty, warring priorities, or other factors, these leaders opened themselves up to a possibility they didn’t see before, an opportunity that changed the course of their lives.  

My three sons are all millennials. The oldest is at the upper end of that age range and is firmly established as a lawyer; career path taken and stuck to. My other two sons are in the middle of the millennial pack and are both at career crossroads. One recently left a position with a cycling company. As a result of his responsibilities, he knows more about the ins and outs of how to navigate and succeed in the e-commerce world than most, but he doesn’t like that work. He loves to cycle, loves the outdoors, but his job was finally unbearable. The other son is a sous chef at a high-end restaurant. He’s a terrific chef and loves to cook, but he’s tired of the hours and the poor leadership he works under.

I’m confident they’ll land on their feet and make the right next move. It’s been fascinating for me to see them work through what to do next, weighing the pros and cons of various possibilities.

I found myself at a similar decision point at about the same time in my life. I was firmly wedded to resigning my commission after my Army active-duty obligation was fulfilled and pursuing a career as a chemical engineer, my college major. Everything set, ideas of where to live explored, contacts with executive recruiting firms established, resumé written, etc. But then an opportunity came my way, out of the blue, that caused me to reevaluate my already-decided path forward. It was an offer to accept an assignment to then West Germany and the elite 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment. Doing so meant another three-year commitment, at least, and a delay if not downright abandonment of my plan for work as an engineer in the corporate world. And I took it, with plenty of uncertainty about whether I’d succeed. I’d not spent time in Cavalry units before, knew I was going into a unique culture, and that it was going to be tough duty, a lot of time away from home and my new bride, who had put her career on hold to agree to accompany me.

It turned out to be the opportunity of a lifetime. The 11th guarded the Iron Curtain, the divide between Soviet-controlled East Germany and West Germany, and I was present on the border the day the wall came down, November 9th, 1989. I’ll never forget that day. I flourished in my assignment there, worked for some supremely talented people, and that assignment launched what turned out to be a highly successful career for me.

When making major life decisions, one is inherently in a position of vulnerability. There is always some risk involved in choice and, usually, where there is risk, there is fear. The key is to acknowledge this is the case and resist knee-jerk reactions that will unnecessarily close doors to opportunity and possibility. You must allow yourself to be vulnerable in the face of your fear and be comfortable that yes, in taking a new opportunity you might fail; or look bad; or have to start on the ground floor; or be initially clueless about what’s going on; or have to adapt to a totally new culture; or get out of your comfort zone. These are all real concerns. But be confident in your capabilities and in your ability to adapt, to learn, to grow. Seize the opportunity while it’s within reach. If you do, you’ll be less likely to regret your decision. I can promise there’ll be no second-guessing and no anguished what-ifs.    

I’d love to hear your thoughts on fear and vulnerability in leadership. Please feel free to send me your thoughts here on my website or email me directly at [email protected].

Photo by Charlotte May